How To Get Fired

Remember my post about "How To Stay Unemployed?" Well, today we have, How To Get Fired.

1. Show up to work drunk because you have to work on your child's birthday. (Side question...why else would you be drunk at 10am on your child's birthday?)

2. Yell at your boss.

3. Moon the general manager.

4. Continue working the rest of your shift, drunk with sharp knives.

5. Show up the next day as if nothing happened and act shocked when told you no longer have a job.

Just saying.....it works, trust me.

Getting Back to "Routine"

My desk has been moved back to it's original place, now that the refurbishments are almost complete. I even managed to get a new chair out of the deal. Now getting someone to put it together for me is another challenge. I would do it, but I don't any room to assemble it.

Today we have a photo shoot taking place among the many other functions that normally transpire. It's for a magazine with wedding dresses as the focus. It's fun to watch and I enjoy talking to the crew working on the shoot.

New Changes, New View

First off, Happy New Year!

Upon arriving back to work on this New Year, I am treated to a move. Our main lobby area is receiving a much need renovations to include new flooring, wallpaper and carpeting. My desk has been moved to our secondary lobby at the other end of the building. Admittedly there are some adjustments in my routine, but basically my boss has made sure I have what I need to continue to do my job smoothly. Changes like having to call down to where the printer is before printing anything, having to travel down to the other end of the building to pick up said printing, not knowing who is in their office and insufficient lighting are just temporary and makes the day more interesting. Plus, even though I have temporarily lost my magnificent ocean view, I get to see people and things I rarely see. I think of this like a camping trip without the ants or the latrine.

But what puts the huge smile on my face? How nice of you to ask! My boss made sure I have access to the Internet and doing so, she decided to take our bartender’s wiring. She reasoned that all he uses it for is online dating services. Most of the day he walks by me scowling and making sarcastic comments about how I “stole” his Internet. Each time I smile real big and suggest he mention it to our boss. Then when he storms off like a little kid, I just throw a mental ticker-tape parade. Confetti everywhere! But he left and came back just now carrying his personal laptop, no doubt to use the building’s free Wi-Fi. I guess Big-Daddy can’t be away from DA LADIES!

BIG, FAT, HAIRY NOSE

Her nose is in everything. You know the co-worker. She listens in on EVERY conversation. She "happens" to walk by so so slowly that she feels she able, with authority, to comment on anyone or anything going on. It is like she is LOOKING for a reason to run to the boss. In fact, her work doesn't seem to get down on time because she is always on the move...hunting for gossip, hunting for ammunition. But I found this picture of her...just be on the look out for her.

Cool Weather, Cooler Chill

No annual review, no annual pay increase. I wouldn't even mention it, but everyone else in the place got theirs. My co-worker was bragging about it and she makes mistakes constantly. Additionally, someone is going into my voice-mail, deleting my messages (important messages concerning our members)and now members are complaining that I missed their reservations and aren't calling them back to confirm. When I find out who it is, they are toast.

Am I supposed to be impressed?

Why do folks insist on telling me that they are from out of town? Am I supposed to be impressed by their ability to pick up a phone and dial, not only a phone number, but an area code as well? Or is it that their time, because they are calling from out of town, is more valuable than someone who calls locally? Perhaps, where they hail from lacks the necessary forms of communication, and to have the skills to overcome such obstacles makes their call all the more special. Or, in the case of overseas calls, their time difference means their day is shorter and their urgency is greater. Whatever the reason, I am NOT impressed and you will be handled in the same manor as everyone else.


No one is special or everyone is special.... your choice. Either way, you will all be treated like a red-headed stepchild. (Whom I have and adore, so there)

Summertime

Well, I am no longer a temp. The powers-that-be thought fit to return to me what was taken when they laid me off. Some of the tension has eased, but I don't know if I will ever feel part of this team. The clicks and "inner circle of trust" groups are too strong, and I don't fit into anyone's mold. So why keep me? Because I have talent. Because I have a strong, sexy phone voice. Because I am creative ( I am their go-to person for any graphic work). The creative ones rarely fit into conventional molds of society, we tend to think outside. We are despised and misunderstood most of the time. So I should count myself fortunate to still be here.

The warm weather has not dampened couples from their desire for an outside oceanfront wedding. Every weekend since May we have hosted weddings. This weekend's wedding will have 260 folks sweating out on our lawn to be followed by a reception in our spacious ballroom. From my reception desk, I am treated to the transformation of an empty ballroom to an elegant staging to celebrate the union of two souls. The stage and dance floor going up now, with tables, chairs, linens, flowers, candles, lighting, piano, band, food, bar, etc to follow.

Still Here...The Permanent Temp

Sometimes I feel a bit like Ryan on the NBC show, The Office. (Not because I act like him, though) The Permanent Temp. Can't earn vacation or sick days, Temp. Can't be evaluated for pay raises, Temp. Don't have to offer medical benefits, Temp. And forget about a 401K!

But I still have my nice view from my desk. SSSoooo, that makes this awkward state of limbo all worthwhile.

Happy Administrative Assistant Day!

Here at work our bosses gave us beautiful flowers in a cool vase. I don't have the heart to say anything, but my allergies, from having the bouquet at my desk, are almost too much to bare. A word of advice to anyone desiring to present flowers to someone, find out if they have allergies. This arrangement consists of yellow roses (okay by my nose), giant mums (they stink and my nose gives them two thumbs down), and lilies (lovely but there is a reason lilies are used in funerals, they are killing my nose!). I have no clue what I am going to do with the blooming thing (see what I did there?) (It's a pun!). When the flowers are gone, I plan to get a bamboo plant for it. That's what I have at home, lots and lots of bamboo!

YEA to fauna, BOO to flora!

You want to work HERE????!!!!! or How To Stay Unemployed

Here at work we have been interviewing and hiring waitstaff for our restaurant and for banquet events. Overall it has been going well, with the notable exception of one woman. Did you ever see the movie "Misery"?

This woman, we will call her Annie.
1. Annie called 5 different times, demanding to talk to the assistant general manager.
2. Annie comes in a few days later to fill about an application and brings her boyfriend who is dressed in baggy hip-hop clothes and sporting dreadlocks down to his buttocks. (Now I am actually a fan of dreads and that is not the issue. You don't bring family or friends with you, even if they are driving you. They should just stay out in the vehicle.)
3. She called me "Miss Row"....Best way to get on my bad side.
4. She called 6 more times to see when her interview would be.
5. The assistant GM finally gives up and schedules the interview with Annie.
6. Annie calls 3 different times to get directions to our facility. Mind you, she has already been here to fill out the application.
7. She shows up 10 minutes late and then goes to the restroom where she spends 7-9 minutes.
8. She is finally ready for her interview, but during her interview her cell phone rings, AND SHE ANSWERS IT!
9. After the interview Annie insists on the grand tour of the facility, so politely the restaurant manager gives her the basic tour.
10. Then Annie demands (with a smile on her face) a copy of the restaurants menu to take home and study. (I had to give the menu to her. [shutter])
10.1. Annie announces to all who can hear her that our search is over, we now have the best server in the area.
11. Then Annie disappears. We all think she has left and we breath a sigh of relief.
12. About 30 minutes later Annie shows up at my desk to thank me for all my help. I was startled that she was still here!
13. During her "self-guided" tour, Annie stopped by the restaurant manager's office to ask more questions about the facility. About this time we all wonder if she isn't a spy (or practical joke) from another private club.
14. This past Sunday she leaves a haunting message on the restaurant manager's voicemail lasting 10 minutes. (He has Sunday's off, so he didn't get that message until Today.) [update: part of the message she insisted on a list of our members, so she can get to know them and their dining habits. Now that is frightening!] She also leaves a demanding message on Monday insisting he call her about her new job.
15. Annie calls today, Tuesday, to see why she hadn't been called, she left that message on the manager's voicemail. He calls her and tells HER voicemail that we have decided to go another direction.
16. (Hopefully) the final contact, this afternoon when she calls the manager and wants to know what direction we decided to go in and asks if her previous employers gave her a bad review. The manager tells her that it is irrelevant because she won't be hired here. He politely thanked her for her interest and hung up.

Do you hear Physco music playing now? I do. [shiver]

Frustration

I need to vent.

As I mentioned before, I am currently a temp at my old position as receptionist, being formally laid-off. The person that was out on sick leave will be coming back in the next month or so. But I haven't heard word-one if I will continue on as a temp, hired back permanently, or laid-off again. I have updated all of my resumes online, just in case. I know my immediate supervisor wants me to stay on, but does the company have the money to keep me? It is not fair for anyone. I feel guilty for wanting to be here, because that might mean that the person on sick leave isn't needed anymore. Or a better situation would be that the company is doing better financially to keep both of us. I just want to work, pay my bills and have a life outside of a job. I did work as a reservationist at a local resort for a time, but it was 2nd shift and I rarely got to see my husband or anyone else beyond the other reservationists (we were kept in a tight room above the front desk.)

I have bills too and unemployement doesn't pay them all. Where are my magic lotto numbers? That would take care it!

Okay, I'm done for now. Thanks for putting up with my rant.

Never Underestimate the Power.....

Yesterday was my birthday. Like many women over the age of __, I was feeling medoncoly and simply wanting the day to pass. Other than our H.R. person giving me a card, no one else here at work knew it was my birthday. UNTIL..... Mysteriously a big note was posted on the employee cord board wishing me a happy birthday. I was handling that fine with the occational greeting from coworkers. My boss didn't say anything though, just placed an greeting card on my desk. This was late afternoon and I was SO ready to be home. I opened the card and I teared up. The majority of the staff had signed it. It was a simple gesture, but it meant a lot to me. I am still technically a Temp since they brought me back after laying me off 2 1/2 months before that. Complicated, I know. Coming back as a part-time temp after being laid-off as a full time permanent employee was uncomfortable at best. Everyone was so glad to see be back, but since I was a temp, I no longer felt connected as a team member. I had lost my medical, dental, life insurance as well as all of my vacation, sick and personal days. And there was no getting what I had earned back. I have been resentful and just plain put-out. But I hung in, smiled and treated all with respect whether they deserved it or not. After all, any job is still a job.

So receiving a card that my boss had taken around for co-workers to sign for ME was heartwarming and it touched me.

New Year-Same Ole Same Ole

Winter holidays have come and gone, the ground hog has had its day and now Valentine's Day is knocking. Here at work we faced many events that tested our sanity. I think New Year's Eve Dinner was the most difficult. Still on the confectionery high of Solstice and nursing bruises from Festivus, it was challenging to muster the stamina for yet another over indulgent holiday. My scales tremble when I tap the edge to turn them on. But we forge on. I realize my job depends on holidays and special events, but I could use a respite from tempting delights and over stressed attendees. If I sound ambiguous, your welcome!!!

I have discovered a new diversion from reality. www.dundermiffininfinity.com

Raffle Prize

Here at work we had our United Way Drive. There was a raffle with various prizes; Wii game system, a frozen turkey,19" LCD television, a frozen turkey, a coffee maker, a frozen turkey, cutlery set with holder, a frozen turkey, a day off with pay, a frozen turkey, a power washer, a frozen turkey, $50 gift certificate at our tennis shop, a frozen turkey, a hoodie sweatshirt, a frozen turkey (do you kinda see where this is going?), etc.

Can you guess what I won?

So did 12 other lucky co-workers. It would have become a running joke BUT......the turkeys had no feet.

Pinkies Up!

I enjoy dark rainy days and the remnants of hurricane Ida has created a wonderful, windy, rainy day full of energy. The Atlantic Ocean is flexing it's hulky muscles in tribute to a fallen weather pattern. From my perch I see birds flying sideways in an attempt to combat the near gale force winds while ocean spray kisses breaking waves as they crash onto the shoreline. WOW! All of this energy has charged me into a near frenzy! Chipper, gay!

It takes a certain type of person to sit behind a reception desk and answer phones all day. Empty bobble head comes to mind. NO?? NO!!! A few bales shy of a full load is more like it. Highly intelligent, creative, easily amused, energy sucker!!! I get a kick out of engaging people to laugh and smile. I don't tell a good joke, in fact I like to say that if I were on death row and the governor called and said he would pardon me if I could tell him one good joke, I reply, "Light me up like a Christmas tree, I can't do it!" But I do schitck real well. I have told I have a "British" sense of humor.

Today, I have decided to express my flamboyantly gay side; so chest out, pinkies up and head tilted, "as if...." ( and all this without a bit of makeup on!)

P. S. I salute all those who are, or have ever been in a military uniform. My heart can't contain my gratitude for all of the sacrifices you have made for this country. As a former Navy wife, I know you deserve far more than you receive in exchange for all you do. Hugs and giggles to you!!!

Creepy Critters, and other wild life at work

Dolphins, Black bears, snakes, lizards, turtles, seagulls (that reminds me of a joke), crows, eagles, falcons, cranes, spiders, raccoons, and my favorite, alligators. What do they all have in common? They try to co-exist with us humans here at work. No, my desk is not in the tidal pool, or "in the weeds" (golf expression), or at one of our many tennis courts, on the golf course itself, but in the relative safety of the clubhouse. I have been regaled by our housekeeping staff with close encounters they have experienced. Snake in the lobby, alligator in the storage room, and raccoon enjoying a snack on the beverage cart. Our smoking area sees birds of all kinds, we even have a pair of cardinals that have nested in a palmetto tree. The only time I have felt uncomfortable was when a murder of crows were guarding the trash dumpster one day.

And I am not sure what the critters are that were caught on camera hanging from our trees.

Butt Dialing, Hang Ups, and other rude phone calls....

The first, butt dialing, has increased tremendously in recent months. The phone rings, I may my bit, "The ________, this is _______, how may I help you?" What response do I receive? Ambient noise, kids screaming in the background, a belch, muffled conversations, and the like. I will stay on the line for a moment or two just to make sure someone isn't really there, then I hang up. I am amazed how the American Bottom has evolved to such a degree as to actually dial cell phones and attempt to carry on conversions. I won't mention what they have to say, but (hehe)......


The second one is hang ups. At first I thought it was my husband's ex; she has issue boundaries. However, I would hope that she doesn't spend all day on the phone pressing re-dial. Once and awhile I do get people who openly admit they dialed the wrong number and apologize.


The third phone related annoyance are people who continue speaking to whomever is physically near them even though I am addressing them. I have taken to pausing a moment to listen and if they are indeed still carrying on a conversion with someone else, I'll just wait. At another job I told someone to go ahead, I'd hold a minute until they were ready to give me the same attention they expect me to vest. Yes, I was the rude but fun person you made reservations with the last time you were planning to visit our area!

I had just published this post when I received another kind of rude phone call, the automated call. This one was interesting for it merely stated, "Hello, to hear this message in English, please press one." So I waited....nothing, it simply repeated the previous message, so I waited....nothing again. Then it hung up on me. So I have to ask myself, "Who was this intended for and why only in English?" Everything else in this country is in two languages, why just the one?


And to leave you on a jealous note: here is another picture of our wonderful view. Sunrise at work. Nice!

Amazing Changes

As I mentioned, last Friday was our Halloween party. I came in this morning (I work Tuesday through Friday) and the club house was put right and in good order. All of the creepiness gone back to storage. I applaud our hard working staff!!! Cheers!

Did I mention that my desk offers the best view a receptionist can ask? Here is what I get to see each day!

Work Halloween Party

I work at a golf and beach club and today is our Halloween party for the club members. The whole clubhouse is decorated and very scary. The life-size Michael Myers is the one that freaks me out the most. He is standing next to my desk in a huge box. He is motion activated and plays the theme music. So now I going around making that creepy noise, almost like the noise Chevy Chase makes in Caddy Shack when he is putting. I am getting used to all this creepiness, but will be glad when all of the hay, cornstalks, and tree branches spray painted black will be gone. They are playing with my allergies. Last year we had over 500 members attend this event, this year we are will only have about 400. I am dressed as a black cat and will be helping with hosting duties. There will be an employee costume contest, but I am not interested in winning. My interests are off-duty at a dart tournament we will be at all weekend. Ghost On The Coast right here in our lovely city of Myrtle Beach, SC. http://ghostonthecoast.com/

Well, have a wonderful and safe holiday! See you on the other side of scary town!

Above is a picture of some of us from last year. I was a hippie, not a real stretch.

Halloween Set-up

Halloween is huge here at work. Today, Oct. 27th, the professional decorators are here setting up. I have a life-size Michael Myers staring at me with a bloody knife and every time someone walks by, the movie theme music starts playing and he moves, moves!!! I have a phobia with mannequins, clowns, and basically anyone who hides their face. These decorations has caused two panic attacks and I am now shaking uncontrollably, making it hard to function. Want to talk about hostile work environment?